Movie: Mission:Impossible - III

My Action Movie of the year

<Aside> Back after a long, long break…one that was driven by difficult and un-bloggable working conditions and then by yours truly getting into the family ways. Tied the knot this Labour Day and was off to New Zealand which is just heavenly (more on that in a separate blog). Managed to see a couple of films in Kiwi-land which will hit Indian screens soon, so thought it’d be useful for the 4-5 odd people who read this blog. (

The thing about sequels and sequels to sequels of hit movies is that viewers go to watch movies with such hyped expectations that more often than not even decently made sequels prove to be a damp squib at the box office. Very few movies like The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Shrek 2 have managed to stand the test of viewer expectations in recent times. When Mission: Impossible was released in 1996, I remember watching it on VCR and going absolutely ga-ga over its gravity-defying stunts, the twisted plot, the cool gadgetry and above all, the adrenaline-soaring title score given by Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton. I remember having borrowed the tape of the OST from someone in school and listening to it a zillion times over. M:I-2  came out sometime when I was in college and every bit intriguing as the first one with Tom Cruise’s Grand Canyon bravados, the masks that were so real you could impersonate anyone else , more cool gadgets and more impossible things achieved in the process of saving the world.

With Mission:Impossible – III, the magic of the earlier impossible missions is back: with more sophisticated tricks in the bag, more beautiful cars and gadgets to drool over and action sequences that make you sink your claws into the theatre seats in excitement. Agent Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is no longer on the field with the Impossible Missions Force (IMF) and has instead opted for a job as an instructor and the comfort of a family life: he is engaged to Julia (Michelle Monaghan) who looks quite charming in her small role. His fiancé believes that Ethan is working for the Transportation Department. Nothing will get Ethan back into the travails of a field job; nothing except when he hears that his favorite and exceptionally bright student is captured by the baddies. IMF believes that Agent Lindsey might have crucial information about notorious arms dealer Owen Davian (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman of Capote fame). Ethan must break a vow to save his favorite student and the world alongwith it since Owen Davian is planning to sell the Rabbit’s Foot (a radio-active secret that is too powerful to fall into the hands of the wrong people). What follows is an intense 2 hours of action that you have never even dreamt of. But what sets Mission: Impossible from your run-of-the-mill Steven Seagal (no disrespect to him) flick is the fine concoction of suave and gruesome action that has been brewed for the viewers. The masterful break-in to the Vatican is as exhilarating as the aerial attack on Washington bridge. The plot may not win M:I-III an Academy award (and frankly, it is thin) but the suspense is well played out and you do fall for it! Of course gravity is defied(isn’t it in all M:I movies): this time though, Tom Cruise does it with greater panache and no strings attached!

A final word on the performances of Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laurence Fishburne( yeah, he is in too and plays the dirty IMF boss). Both of them have short-ish roles, which is sad but you can’t have a 3-hour long thriller. Yet both these guys impressed me with the sheer variety they brought into the clichéd baddy roles , especially Philip Seymour Hoffman. It is very difficult to imagine how anyone can render your usual evil arms dealer, world hater kind of a role differently but if anybody can do it, surely Philip Hoffman has.

I saw an interview somewhere where Tom Cruise and the director JJ Abrams were trying to differentiate the movie from other versions of Mission: Impossible saying that here there is a romantic angle to the whole story since Ethan Hunt is also trying to save his wife from Davian and there is a more humane side of Hunt on offer. Having seen the film, I find that hard to swallow.


Disclaimer: M:I-III is an action flick through and through. There may be amorous interests in the movie for Agent Ethan Hunt but that is not why you should see the movie. Michelle Monaghan remains gagged and bound in 80% of her role which is hardly half an hour long. So if you believe M:I-III is a romantic action thriller, read the title again: this is Mission: Impossible – III  not Badshah – III (with due respect to Badshah, I loved that movie).

So if pure, unadulterated action is your thing and if you like things stylish, M:I-III is the movie to watch. It’s a no holds barred action thriller and you probably would never see more innovative action all of this summer. ( I am obviously not including Bollywood films like Krrrish, Ghoom (the MTV flick) and  Dhoom-II in this comparison since they are a different league altogether)

Watchability Rating : 4/5

Movie : Fight Club

“Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to Indian cinema of the 80’s”. The same plot (or the lack of it), the same latka-jhatkas (although Amrita Arora is slightly bolder than Aruna Irani) and the same predictable ending (the good guys beat the bad guys in a final fight).  So what if we are almost a quarter century ahead in time and several notches ahead in quality and content. Here is a movie that serves old wine in a new bottle! I would have loved to give a brief plot description of the movie: tragedy is there is no plot to speak of in this flick! There is a lot of skin show (babes and hunks galore) and a lot of senseless violence but if you are looking for a unifying thread which some people call a story, sorry sir!

Since it is the duty of a conscientious reviewer to make his reader aware of what they are in for, here is what I vaguely remember happens in the movie amidst a lot of gore, bone breaking and horribly misplaced songs. A bunch of friends in Mumbai hit on a megaplan called the FightClub whereby they organize fights for a price for people who always wanted to kill each other but didn’t know how! Now if you thought that was weird, you are in for a real treat. One of the dudes’ uncle runs a club in Delhi and gets killed over a dispute as the baddies want to take-over the club and use it for drug peddling. His uncle dead, the dude decides to fight it out and revive the club and all his friends leave their respective families for good old ‘dosti’. Surprisingly, one of the foes of this band of boys (Sohail Khan) also joins their club as a bouncer even though he hates Zayed Khan. Ok, ok, logic is not exactly the hallmark of the movie.

Then there are a bunch of baddies: Rahul Dev (who Rahul Dev? the villain opposite Sunny paaji in the movie Champion… Champion who? ok … fuh-get it), Ashmit Patel (whose movies may have bombed but his MMS is already in the all time hall of fame), Yash Tonk (who plays someone in all of Ekta Kapoor’s serials and movies I am told) and Suniel Shhetty (I hope this is the numerologically correct spelling). They serve the general purpose of being beaten up and eventually being killed.

The bimbos in the film (Amrita, Diya and Neha) do not have a role to play in the movie and the only reason why any self-respecting actress would do such a role is only due to some serious financial crisis! The boys (Dino, Sohail, Ashish, Riteish & Zayed) hog the limelight or airtime through the movie. None of them, however, have the screen presence to hold the audiences for more than 4.5 seconds!

The biggest achievement of the film, however, is the universal appeal and impact that it has on audiences.  Sample this: An excruciating  45 minutes into the movie, some song featuring Zayed and Diya starts playing: there is an exodus from the theatre as just about every irritated soul in the hall leaves for the loo, to smoke or just to get some fresh air! Inane dialogues draw groans from the crowd as if a thousand teeth are being pulled out simultaneously and you know the film has managed to uniformly irritate everyone around you!

If you can still muster up the courage to watch the movie after reading this review, you must join the Armed Forces!!

Watchability Rating : 1/5

Movie : Aksar

Aksar: Decent script, hit music, horrendous execution!

The basic plot of Aksar is not all that bad: a millionaire who wants to divorce his ‘hottie’ wife hires a womanizer photographer to seduce her so that she falls in love with the photographer and leaves him. Things go as planned and the photographer successfully beds the millionaire’s wife. However, things go awry when the wife still refuses to divorce the millionaire as she is the 50% owner of his wealth and the photographer smitten by the rich temptress decides to stay on by breaking the deal he had with the millionaire husband. Things reach a point when each of the characters in this queer triangle are playing their wicked games and it is difficult to judge who the ultimate villain is. The climax of the movie packs a suspense revelation which is predictable yet interesting.

Add to this, the super-hit music of Himesh Reshammiya. There are few movies in the recent past having 4-5 songs which are chart-toppers and are being played in every disco and every taxi! The songs are well-interspersed throughout the movie and despite the fact that sometimes they seem to pop out of nowhere, you can pardon the director given their popularity.

Where the movie fails is the most pathetic execution of the script by actors and technicians alike. Sample this: according to me, the 3 best acting performances in Aksar are by the following (in descending order of brilliance):

1) The stress-ball that Dino Morea keeps playing with
2) Victoria Mansion in Manchester, UK (the house where Dino Morea stays)
3) Himesh Reshammiya in the cameo performance in the song Mohabbat Ki…

What about Emraan Hashmi, Dino Morea, Udita Goswami or Tara Sharma (yeah, she also has a short role in the film) – you might ask? Well, they are there but remain so stone-faced throughout the movie that they put the walls of the palatial mansion in which the movie has been shot to shame. Emraan Hashmi may be the serial kisser of Bollywood but he can’t act for nuts. Udita Goswami maybe one of the hottest models in the Indian fashion circuit today but she’s got to realize that a hot bod does not a successful actress make. Otherwise, Pamela Anderson would have had a dozen Academy Awards to her credit! Dino Morea is slightly better than Emraan and Udita but only slightly better.

Anant Mahadevan (the director) fails to captivate the audience and were it not for the songs (which yours truly quite likes), the movie would have probably become intolerable. Watch this one only if someone else is paying and you really don’t have too much to do!


Watchability Rating: 2/5

Book : False Impression by Jeffrey Archer

False Impression: Vintage Archer, Limited Impact

Before proceeding ahead, I must confess: I am not a big fan of the genre of thrillers/mystery fiction comprising of authors like Ludlum, Cook, Grisham et al. Most of these books have about half a hundred (alliteration courtesy: Lord Tennyson) characters and layers and layers of plots and sub-plots: a literary lasagna beyond the digestive capabilities of my simpleton mind. Archer, however, is the one author that can still spring a surprise without confusing me with un-necessary red herrings (no pun intended). In my opinion, he is the modern master of the “twist in the tail/tale”, a title which has had worthy bearers like O. Henry and H.H Munro (Saki).  

False Impression, his latest novel, is vintage Archer. The racy script, sharp unexpected turn of events, slickly defined characters are masterfully painted in the backdrop of the 9/11 disaster. The ending is somewhat predictable; which is why I feel this is not top-drawer stuff from the master. The plot in brief is as follows: Bryce Fenston runs away from Romania and settles in New York after the government of the military leader for whom he used to work is overthrown.  In NY, the resilient Romanian establishes Fenston Finance, a bank which operates on a unique business model. It gives loans to rich families in financial trouble using as collateral paintings primarily from the Impressionist era. However, Fenston is actually a crafty swindler who gets his clients murdered and then takes control not only over their money but also their rare art collection. His next client/victim is the Wentworth family of England. Victoria Wentworth has run up significant debts from Fenston Finance in order to service the debts taken by her father. Fenston has his eyes set on a rare painting in the Wentworth’s Impressionist collection: ‘Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear’ by the Dutch master Vincent Van Gogh. He knows the only way Anna can repay the debt is by forfeiting the painting to Fenston’s private collection. However, Dr. Anna Petrescu, another runaway Romanian who is an art connoisseur and is hired by Fenston to value clients’ art collections after she is fired from Sotheby’s, spills the beans on Fenston by advising Victoria to sell her painting to a Japanese collector for a price that will allow her to repay all debt to Fenston Finance. Unfortunately, Victoria is mysteriously murdered with her left ear chopped off. Jack Delaney, an FBI agent, is trying to investigate the misgivings of Bryce Fenston for a long time and is on the lookout for incriminating evidence to nail Fenston and Petrescu, whom he believes is Fenston’s aide. Anna, however, is fired on the morning of 9/11 on flimsy charges, minutes before the ill-fated American Airlines flight crashes into the North Tower of WTC, where Fenston Finance’s office is located. Anna manages to escape from the WTC only to realize the vicious plot that Fenston has been hatching. She takes upon herself the responsibility to avenge Victoria’s death and helping Victoria’s sister Arabella save the Wentworth Estate and the Van Gogh from the hands of the unscrupulous Fenston. What follows is an intriguing adventure that takes Anna from NY to Canada to England to Romania to Tokyo and back: her situation is not helped at all by the fact that she is not only being trailed by Fenston’s mysterious murderer but also by FBI agent, Jack.

Overall, the novel is a good fast read. It is a must-read for all Archer fans. However, if you are the kinds who can arouse yourself to orgasmic heights at the mention of Art or Paintings, this novel is not to be missed.

Readability Rating: 3.5/5

Movie : Rang De Basanti

Rang De Basanti: Chronicles of a Revolution Re-told


We walk into the paid preview of RDB and take our seats…each of us knows the plot or the publicly available version of it: a British director comes to India to make a film on Indian revolutionaries and chooses 5 typical Indian college students to act in it and…well, that’s the plot everybody knows …it sounds interesting and the movie has Aamir Khan in it (looking 10 years younger) and some great music by Rahman... that’s enough to make any movie buff worth his/her salt go watch the film… then the movie begins…

Sue McKinley (Alice Patten) wants to make a documentary on the lives of Chandrashekhar Azad, Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev, Rajguru, Ram Prasad ‘Bismil’ and Ashfaqullah Khan: Indian revolutionaries whose heroics are recorded in unequivocal words in the diary of her grandfather, a British jailer who came up, close and personal with these people during his tenure in India. Unfortunately, the producers can’t finance the film as, according to them, no other freedom fighter except Gandhi would “sell” in England. Sue, however, is undeterred and decides to go ahead with her dream of making the documentary for which she has even learnt Hindi. To her bosses in the studio she says, “Teri maa ki aankh!” and lands up in Delhi to live her dream.

She founds an ally in Sonia (Soha Ali Khan), who helps her out in putting together an audition for the film. Several days and auditions later, the two are still not getting anywhere as Sue can’t seem to find her ‘revolutionaries’. This is when Sonia takes Sue to meet her ‘gang’: Aslam (Kunal Kapoor) who is the poet and free spirit fighting the orthodoxy of his family; Sukhi (Sharman Joshi) the Haryanvi Jat who can’t seem to get girls but will never stop trying; Karan (Siddhartha) the son of a multi-millionaire and a cynic to the core who is looking for the first opportunity to escape the ‘kachhre ka dabba’ that is India and finally, D.J. aka Daljeet (Aamir Khan) a typical jovial and chirpy Punjabi who always wants to be in college as that is where D.J. has ‘aukaat’… he shudders at the possibility of being a part of the faceless crowd of millions. In D.J.’s own words, “College ke andar hum zindagi ko nachaate hain aur college ke bahar zindagi hum ko nachaati hai … tim-lak-a-lak-tim-tim-lak-a-lak!” Together, they are just like any other college going guy or girl: carefree, rebellious and full of life. Playing spoilsport to most of these parties is Laxman (Atul Kulkarni), the pro-Hindu revolutionary who believes that Westernisation of our culture should be prevented at all costs and seems to have a bright future in his Bajrang Dal-esque party.

However, Sue has other plans for them. She sees in them the characters of the documentary she desperately wants to make. Unfortunately, none of them are enthusiastic about the idea. They all believe that such “patriotic” ideas are things of the past. All of them except Ajai Rathode (Madhavan); Sonia’s boyfriend who is also an IAF pilot. Sue, however, is not one to be easily let down by the happy-go-lucky bunch’s indifference. She uses her charms on D. J. and finally manages to convince them to act in the documentary. The horses have been brought to the water but it is still impossible to make them drink. While the youngsters agree to be a part of the film, they just can’t emote and identify with the situations that existed in the 1920’s. To add to their woes, Sue decides to cast Laxman as Ram Prasad ‘Bismil’; something that does not go down well at all with the group. Thus begins their journey at discovering in their own way the freedom struggle and understanding better those ‘lunatic’ krantikaaris who could go hungry for 114 days!

As Sue’s documentary progresses, its actors not only start understanding and appreciating the freedom struggle much better, it also drives them to search for a fire that burns inside them, the fire that refuses to believe in a ‘chalta hai’ attitude that is so characteristic of India! Things take an ugly turn when news arrives that the MIG being flown by Ajai Rathode (Madhavan) has crashed in an open field near Ambala destroying the plane and the driver. While Ajai’s mom (played by Waheeda Rehman), fiancée and friends mourn the demise of an able pilot who gave up his life so that the MIG would not crash into a populated part of the city; the corrupt Defence Minister(Mohan Agashe) blames the disaster on the poor handling of the situation by Ajai Rathore. A peaceful procession to mourn Ajai’s death is lathi-charged in which Ajai’s mom gets severely injured. That proves to be the final awakening for the youngsters. The thin line separating the documentary and real life disappears and they become protagonists in their own real lives…

RDB is a stupendous work of art. On the surface, it is a just another movie that tries to give a strong yet clichéd social message: to change the status quo requires efforts from each one of us. What sets it apart from other movies in its genre is the lack of filmi Bollywood-esque rhetoric and melodrama to drive home the same point that several movies have tried to make. The six college students are as real as you and me when we were in college; so are their jokes, their friendly-sometimes-bordering-on-the-obscene banter, their insecurities and aspirations. Their transformation from who-gives-a-damn to I-am-the-change-agent is handled so masterfully and delicately that you’re forced to say, ‘wow!’

Ad guru Prasoon Joshi spells magic with his dialogues and lyrics. The music is by A R Rahman which is enough said in itself. But hats off to Rakesh Omprakash Mehra for using this music and lyrics the way he has in the film. Most of you would have heard the songs on the radio or the tele, now go hear them in the movie and Rakesh Mehra would make you see them in a totally different light that you could not have possibly imagined.

The story has enough pace to keep you interested despite the movie being almost 3 hours long. Soha Ali Khan actually looks and acts beautiful in the movie after forgettable erstwhile performances. Sharman Joshi briefly demonstrates that he is a fine actor and not just the bawdy comedian from Style and Excuse Me. Kunal Kapoor has the understated charm and looks the poet he plays in the film, a giant leap from the stone-faced Meenaxi performance. Siddhartha is the surprise packet of the film and plays an almost perfect cynic. Atul Kulkarni proves yet again he is one of the finest actors in Hindi cinema today. He almost steals Aamir’s thunder in several scenes. Alice Patten as Sue is brilliant and has amazing screen presence, despite the likes of Aamir and Atul Kulkarni around her.

And finally, there is Aamir Khan. This is not Aamir’s movie: there is never an attempt to let him hog the limelight or say the most hard-hitting dialogues. No, this is not your typical Hindi flick. Despite that, Aamir towers over others with his exquisite comic timing and the panache with which he can slip into the bawdy D.J. with a gaali perpetually up his lip and slip out into an insecure, scared Daljit who does not know how to bring the culprits behind his friend’s tragic death to justice. If anyone could do this, only Aamir can!

All said and done, RDB is a movie that every Indian must watch. It is the first truly modern patriotic movie. For people who watch only 1-2 movies a year, ladies and gentlemen, this is the movie you’ve been waiting for. For everyone else, just go watch it! Move over Zinda and 15, Park Avenue; here comes the first block-buster of 2006: Rang de Basanti!

Foreword

The reason to start this blog came from the sudden realization that there exist people in this world who do not watch movies within the first 2 days of their premier. These are the people who will check The Sunday Times' 2nd page for Nikhat Kazmi's reviews and then decide whether or not to watch a particular movie. Even after reading the review in the newspaper, they will vet this opinion with 2-3 colleagues in their office, etc. before finalizing on a movie to watch sometimes as late as 1-2 weeks after its release.

For me, such people always remain a novelty. Sure, they stick to a conservative, risk-averse view that all movies are not meant to be seen. I beg to differ. I harbour a different philosophy when it comes to watching movies. My philosophy of watching movies can be summarised in the following 3 simple rules:

1) One must endeavour to watch all movies
2) One must watch movies within the first 2 days of their release
3) There are no unwatchable movies; only well-made movies and badly-made movies

Apart from movies, ever since I landed in Mumbai, I have found an alternate source of entertainment: theatre. I have seen around 25 plays in my past 8 months in Mumbai. Personally, I like theatre better than cinema as an art form and it remains my favorite haunt on weekends. It is the single reason why I skip some Bollywood movies in favor of plays. Still, I have seen 56 Hindi films in 2005 out of a total 200 releases (Source: Filmfare). No big deal, one might say. I agree. However, 100+ of the movies released last year were B- and C-grade films which, despite Rule No. 1, I don't watch. So effectively, I have seen about 56% of the movies release last year. Add to this an equal number of Hollywood flicks and I would have seen about 100+ films in cinema halls: an average of two movies for every week of the year.

On Reviewing

I confess upfront that I am no Nikhat Kazmi, Khalid Mohammed or Subhash K. Jha when it comes to writing reviews. My reviews will not start by describing previous films by the director or producer. They will also not liken an actor's performance in the movie to some 1950's classic that no one has ever seen. I will also not be able to tell you the name of the English film that this Bollywood film is a cheap version of because more often than not, I might not myself know. However, I do promise to give you my frank and heart-felt opinion on the film/play/book. Several times you might feel likewise after seeing the film or play yourself; several times you may not.

I will also try and develop a rating system that is inalienable from any review. The reason I have not spoken so much about books is that I am not sure if I would be able to read a lot and therefore am not trying to hype that section of my blog.

Finally... one must realise that a review is as much an attempt to capture one's emotions on seeing a movie/play or reading a book as it is a guidepost for others who might want to have an opinion before spending their money on the play/movie/book. It is keeping these twin objectives in mind that I have ventured to roll out this blog.